I’ve been unemployed/underemployed for eons, likely because I spent too much time in university learning stuff you can now Google.
I graduated with a BEd in 2011 and have not had full-time employment yet. Temporary contracts, part-time work, substitute teaching—I miss the days of having benefits and a reason to get up every morning beyond feeding my cat and providing a cozy lap for him.
These are signs you too have been under-utilized far too long:
- You’ve stopped buying dress pants and button-up shirts; instead you purchase flannel pyjamas and fuzzy slippers in colours that match your bedsheets.
- Your alarm is set to 11:59 so you can get up in the morning.
- Forget the water cooler; you get your gossip on Twitter.
- You don’t appreciate long weekends because every weekend IS a long weekend.
- The cat thinks you are HIS employee and demands a tuna report before 3.
- There are more versions of your resume out there than repetitive Danielle Steel novels. (Not that I’ve read any recently, but I suspect they have changed little from the dozens I read in junior high. However, I should stop slinging stones given that she has full-time work.)
- You have to take a coffee break from Facebooking.
- Strategic planning involves housecleaning and painting projects.
- The only difference between sick days and regular days is one or two more naps.
- When telemarketers call, you don’t hang up but instead ask them if they’re hiring sometime soon.