40 days and 40 nights

on

Rain humour

It’s been raining cats and dogs forever, it seems. My flipflops are growing mouldy. I can’t help wearing them, even though I know—I just know!—it will involve splashing through parking lot puddles containing mushy sales flyers and rainbows from old gas.

We had one weekend of extreme heat and humidity and it’s been raining ever since.

As a result, the house has been overtaken by silverfish. When you turn the lights on at night, all you see is:

They really do seem this big.
They really do seem this big.

If the devil came back as a bug, it would totally be a silverfish, slithering away in the night, trying to hide like a Canadian senator.

Did you know they eat BOOKS? and glue?

Devilfish.

I started working this week. It has been lovely getting up every morning, knowing I will get paid actual money in two weeks’ time. And then two weeks after that.

Yesterday’s assignment? First aid. I did not pass out, although the nausea was a little annoying, especially after I downed enough coffee to keep Turkey awake for a week. Half the class was made up of whiskery male labourers who struggled to stay alert. (The rest were summer job students and women who texted whenever the instructor wasn’t instructing.)

I haven’t had any first aid training since elementary, so it was great to get a refresher. For example, they no longer use leeches or bloodletting.

Several things I learned:

  • doing chest compressions is a really good workout
  • even fake eyeballs hanging out of a person is nauseating
  • sitting all day is really hard despite being in cushy politician chairs (FYI, the course was held at town hall)
  • even small town council chambers have panic buttons that will bring the police in, guns ablazing

Thankfully, I didn’t sit near the button (otherwise, I probably would’ve made the news). Clumsy doofus accidentally calls in the SWAT team to First Aid session.

On the bright side, I probably wouldn’t have needed as much coffee to stay awake.

Also on the job front, I’m applying for term teaching positions for the fall. I’ve revamped my cover letter yet again.

Yet again.

Seventeen teaching jobs have been axed for the fall, so pray for me.

Pray for some sun, too.

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