Upon the eve of my 32nd birthday, I’m only a few cats away from becoming a crazy cat lady


Source | Facebook

Another year has gone by. That means I’m closer to 40 than I’d like to be.

But I keep telling people that 40 is the new 30. Especially once I get there.

However, these are the facts.

This past year, I found my first grey hair other than the one which grows out of my chin mole. In other words, it was on my head. The only good thing about this development is that grey hair will take on colour better than my dark brown hair. Hello RED and BLONDE!

Also, this year, my first tooth broke. I figure I’m on my way to dentures. Dang.

Furthermore, I almost considered the use of medicated liniment when I was doing Christmas wreaths at a local farm. I held off, although I know one of these years, it’s all downhill. I should start buying shares in Bengay

Yes, I have to admit that the year are piling up. Which is sad, because I still have my collection of pink Care Bears in my room. Unfortunately, they do not seem to be a talisman against grey hair, broken teeth, and becoming honorary CEO of Bengay.

Here’s my list of things that concern me about getting older—and things that rock.

Things which bother me about aging

  • feeling like a goof for having a sub-woofer in my trunk
  • arthritis
  • wrinkles
  • dementia (some days I’m already putting the sugar in the fridge, and the cream in the cupboard)
  • constantly talking of bowel movements
  • constantly saying things like “Kids in my day” or “When I was younger, they made things to last” etc.
  • requiring Velcro on my shoes
  • thinking I need to buy all manner of creams and tonics for my skin
  • looking like a child when I wear glittery, sparkling makeup
  • ugly veins

Things I like about growing older

  • having no desire to buy One Direction merchandise or CDs
  • not giving a $#!& about what people think
  • being super-psyched about getting IDed at the liquor store
  • possessing some variety of wisdom and life experience
  • not having to answer to any authority besides the law
  • finally enjoying some of my Literature with a capital L
  • being composed on Facebook (most of the time, anyway)
  • appreciating the finer things in life—like naps
  • eating chocolate chip pancakes whenever I darn well feel like it

Well, there you have it.

Another year gone. However, I only possess ONE cat, so I think I’m doing all right.


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