Since today is the big day, I thought I’d go over the pros and cons of the big Mayan Armageddon. You never know, Dear Reader, this may be the last blog post you ever read.
Based on the traffic I encountered in town yesterday, it’s very possible the world is coming to an end. Either that, or Wal-Mart had a sale.
Cons of the World Ending Today
- I won’t get the Blackberry Playbook I want for Christmas.
- I won’t get to finish all the books in my library because they’ll be vaporized.
- I’ll die without having lost that weight I want to lose.
- All those groceries in my freezer will go to waste.
- I won’t get to see what happens on Chicago Fire.
- There will be no New Year’s Resolutions to break.
- I will be underemployed and STILL won’t have health benefits.
- I’ll never learn to dance Gangnam Style.
- I’ll never become a model, actress, or rock star.
- I’ll never win the lottery.
- In the afterlife, I’ll have to listen to all the smokers bragging about how smoking didn’t kill them.
Pros of the World Ending Today
- I won’t have to worry about the power company raising rates in the new year.
- I won’t have to worry about the price of gas.
- I won’t have to pay off my student loans.
- My car won’t get rusty.
- My hair won’t go grey.
- The minutes won’t run out on my pre-paid phone.
- I won’t have to upgrade from Windows XP.
- I won’t have to listen to One Direction or Justin Bieber again.
- No more taxes.
- No more reality shows!
- I won’t feel guilty about eating all of those holiday sweets.
What would you miss most about this world? And what wouldn’t you miss?