10 things you should know about the 2012 U.S. Election

  1. Both parties spent approximately $1 billion campaigning. That could buy a lot of KD and peanut butter for starving Americans. Or free health care.
  2. The vote was too close for comfort. Romney 48.6% of the popular vote, Obama 49.8%. That means almost half of the country voted for Mitt. For reals.
  3. Romney’s support was found primarily in the southern States. Surprise, surprise.
  4. Romney failed to attract the attention of the following groups of people: African-Americans, Hispanics, and single women under thirty. Imagine that.
  5. Big Bird voted for Obama, along with the rest of the residents from Sesame Street.
  6. The economy was the biggest issue according to voters. I’m not sure why voting in Mitt would’ve helped the economy other than he might’ve been able to give Americans some of his estimated $190-250 million net worth.
  7. Most stars supported Obama including Bruce Springsteen. If that ain’t enough to get someone in the White House, I don’t know what is.
  8. Recreational pot is now legalized in Colorado and Washington. ‘Ere.
  9. Conrad Black is not happy about the results. This is not news because Conrad Black never looks happy. He looks like he’d kick puppies, kittens, and lambs out of the way to push someone in a wheelchair down a flight of steps.*
  10. The best Tweet of the night came from This Hour has 22 Minutes:

BREAKING NEWS: Indiana’s Richard Mourdock loses senate race just as God intended.

* However, I smile like a fool and am broke, not a member of the House of Lords, and don’t have MY blog on The Huffington Post. So the joke is on me.

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