Last December, I wrote a post titled Search term shenanigans. As you might discern from this cleverly named post, I’m going to do a sequel. I am utterly, utterly fascinated how people find this blog from places as exotic as Saudi Arabia and the United States.
And so, here it goes: these terms are, truly and honestly, on my blog stats.
Yup, right now, there might be someone out there Googling something weird and unusual.
And finding me.
have to pee pee —> I’m guessing this was typed by someone who was 4. And had to pee.
make of meaning —> I’m guessing this one was typed by someone who was not a native speaker of English.
could you give me the times beer barn closes at the south shore ex —> The South Shore Exhibition (AKA The Big Ex) happens the last week of every July and one of its star attractions, other than the Ox Pulls, is The Beer Barn. Guess what they serve there? It’s not Sauvignon Blanc. (And I also don’t know when it closes because I avoid the Ex like the plague because midways often smell like the puke of children who ate everything before going on 15 dozen rides. Fun, fun.)
can you give me some information about the ex at south shore —> It smells funny and is dirty. Next.
what happened to the bowater mersey logging contractors —> They are up poop creek without a paddle. (Great. The next time someone Googles “poop creek without a paddle” they’re going to find this blog.)
i am a sick freak —> Why did Google bring up my blog? If I had any self-esteem left, it would hurt my feelings.
how can you tell if your tire is flat —> It doesn’t roll any more.
chickens slippers —> I’ve heard of moccasins made out of deer or moose hide. But slippers made out of chickens? That’s sick. Unless they make a clucking noise every time you make a step.
miss julie torture stories —> Someone must have heard the sun likes to perform torture on me every summer.
do capricorns often swear —> Damn straight.
nude girl change tire —> Sorry, I had to take those pictures down.
flip-flops are cool —> Agreed.
hanging out on top of a gas station —> This just sounds creepy. I hope this person doesn’t own a high-powered rifle.
when your vagina acts cosmopolitan —> I’m not sure how a vagina acts cosmopolitan. Perhaps it involves a mini-skirt and martini.
nova scotia fart slang —> I guess “toot” would qualify for this, but it’s not localized to Nova Scotia. Neither is cutting the cheese.
underwear balcony —> Sadly, I know why someone would be directed to my blog. See here.
don’t have enough money for a data plan —> Welcome to my world, buddy. We also use bread bags for rubber boots around these parts.
Well, there you have it. My fun with Blog Stats for the day. The next time you need to read up on chicken slippers, Google me!