Oh Cosmo, how did I ever live without you? (Besides with more self-esteem?)

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It’s been a long time since I bought a magazine like Cosmo. Mostly because I refuse to pay $5.99 for a magazine when I don’t have a full-time job.

Furthermore, I can “read” a magazine in less than half an hour. Of course, this is less “reading” than flipping through the pages long enough to lose my self-esteem to all the pretty models who have whiter teeth, shinier hair, and leaner legs than I do.

I have been reading magazines like Cosmo since I was a tween. Which means I’ve thought I was fat ever since I hit puberty. Now I actually am, but even when I was young, I thought I was overweight. I would love to be 140 pounds once more so I didn’t have to hold my head in shame during my physical exam and The Weigh-In.

Darn BMI charts.

I love magazines. Don’t get me wrong: I’m game to go through a Shakespeare play and re-read phrases over and over until I figure out what’s being said.

However, I love flipping through glossy pages of lists and blurbs that require next to no literacy. (I’d like to point out that I had to correct the typo “next to know literacy” even though I’ll be paying back my degrees for the next 15 years. Money well spent. At least I figured out my faux pas, I guess!)

Ever since Helen Gurley Brown died (though it’s my suspicion she’s been dead for the past 15 years and has been propped up by the guys from Weekend at Bernie’s) there’s been a lot of opinion on whether or not Helen promoted the cause of feminism.

Yes and no.

I love that she promoted the idea that women could (gasp! shock!) enjoy sex. The Cosmo girl is not ashamed of sex. Nor should she be.

However, the magazine is all about straight sex. And you have to wonder if women really need to know 456 ways you can win a man with your tongue.

Regardless, I love reading magazines, even if I scoff at them sometimes (most of the time) and my self-esteem suffers a little.

I’m just so glad Wal-Mart now sells magazines 3 for $10. I am back in magazine land. Cosmo, First, and Chatelaine have been flipped through in utter happiness and satisfaction. After all, how could I live without the following headlines:

    • 6 Foods that Blast Belly Fat
    • Double Your Metabolism
    • When Your Vagina Acts Weird After Sex
    • Turn Him On From Across the Room
    • Wow Your Man With These Moves Inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey
    • Frozen Yogurt in 10 mins!
    • Hot Style Finds Under $100

I challenge you all to figure out which headlines came from the Canadian magazine. I dare you.

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