Top 10 things drivers to do irk me

As you know, I’m a fan of lists. And driving.

But sometimes, other motorists do things to annoy me and the other road warriors out there. (Of course, I would NEVER do any of these things. Never. I’m a perfect driver. That’s why my rocker panel looks as it does.)

These are some of the things that make my eyelid twitch.

1 / Passers who jerk their four wheel drive monstrosity in front of me. I don’t mind people passing. It’s a free country. But give me some room so I don’t rear end you. Please and thanks.

2 / People who use their blinker at the last possible minute when I’m trying to pull into traffic. It’s such a tease. I wait for them, thinking they’re going to cream me if I pull out, and it turns out they are pulling into the same freaking parking lot. Good times.

3 / Not using headlights or tail lamps. Especially when it’s dark. Self-explanatory, I think. If you consistently lack the ability to use your car’s most basic equipment, I think you should be retested ASAP. Lights help. Use them. They won’t burn more gas. Trust me; I’m an English major (though you wouldn’t know it from all the errors I made writing this entry, including messing up the basics, including your/you’re and their/there/they’re).

4 / Diesel vehicles. Fact: your car stinks. When I get behind you, you smell like a construction site on a rainy day. When you shift, there’s enough black smoke, it looks like a forest fire ahead. Diesel gives me headaches. Thus, are gross.

5 / Drivers who go soooooooo slooooooooowly, I can see bugs walking on the pavement, then speed up whenever there’s a broken line. If you have to drive 20 under the speed limit, please pull off safely and let the rest of us get to our destinations on time.

6 / Sitting at green lights forever. If I’m behind you, I’m restraining the urge to lay on my horn. Stop texting and driving.

7 / Using the brake pedal more often than the gas pedal. Brakes are expensive. Use them only when you have to use them. This does not include every little turn. Every tree. Every house. You get the picture. Get off the brakes. They’re meant for stopping. Don’t ride them like a horse.

8 / Not giving me roll back room on hills. I drive a standard. Quite well. But I still roll back on hills. And by law, I’m allowed to do this. So get off my butt. FYI, even automatics roll back, so give cars ahead of you enough space. Especially big trucks. They will, like, love you forever.

9 / Then there’s jaywalking. When you’re driving past the Royal Bank in Bridgewater, people walk in front of you like deer. I know. I almost hit a dude once because he was too lazy to use the crosswalk 15 metres down the road. (Oh yeah, and if you’re going to jaywalk, run. Don’t walk as slow as humanly possible, as if rubbing it in my face.)

10 / Finally, one of my biggest pet peeves: drivers who take their pets shopping with them, then leave them in the car. Have you ever sat in a hot car? Don’t think so. Because otherwise you’d know how putrid it gets inside a car in the summer. Keep your pup at home. I don’t care how much he or she misses you or chews your favourite couch. It’s probably because he or she is POed about the hot car.

I think I need a stress ball on my shifter.

We all have pet peeves on the road… what drives you when you’re behind the wheel?

If it’s this dark out, please use your headlights. And no, they don’t automatically come on 100% of the time.

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