Why discuss Darfur when there are celebrities to mock?

Despite having a diploma in Print Journalism, which accords me some sort of ability in reporting news, I have an insane interest in celebrity “news.”

You know what I’m talking about. Infotainment.

<Insert Celebrity Here> is divorcing <Insert Celebrity Here>.

<Insert Celebrity Here> is having a baby in October.

has been charged with drinking and driving after colliding with ice cream truck.

And on and on.

It’s news, yes, but hardly the sort of news that makes the world go ’round. It makes Hollywood go ’round, but matters little beyond that narrow sphere. Celebrity news is really all about First World Problems.

There’s no religious fighting, no starvation in mass refugee camps.

It’s just smutty gossip about who is sleeping with who, who is divorcing who, who is having a baby, etc.

I suppose it’s the kind of news people used to share around tea and coffee. Marriage, babies, divorces, etc. The kind of information that doesn’t pertain to world matters, but does allow for probing of the human condition.

I admit to reading People every day, as well as The Globe and Mail and Huffington Post. (Not that the Huffington Post doesn’t smack of National Enquirer and TMZ. I’m still waiting for the headline that screams BIGFOOT FOUND IN BED WITH FORMER B.C. PREMIER!)

Maybe we just like hearing about how picture perfect celebrities have the ability to F#%$ up their lives just as well as the rest of us poor slobs. (Of course, when they’re dumped, they can go for a tummy tuck and Botox and look better than ever.)

After all, why would the world take such glory in judging Jessica Simpson for gaining weight while pregnant. Guess she’s not so perfect after all.

And Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. If they can’t make a marriage work, no one can.

Perhaps there’s something reassuring about these gods on earth failing at life—something we ordinary mortals can revel in when realizing our own failings.

I cannot prevent starvation in Africa, but I can decry whether an actress is starving herself to fit into the Hollywood ideal.

It’s much easier than making changes to my own life. It’s the infotainment way.

Nothing about Darfur. Nothing.

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