Sometimes it’s hard to come up with new blog ideas, so I’m snitching an idea from author Laura Best’s blog. I’d also like to thank her, profusely, for promoting my blog AND saying my posts are full of wit and charm. Your cheque is in the mail, Laura!
So here are seven random things about meself. I’m pretty sure I’ve done something to this effect before, but never SEVEN. At least I don’t think. But that’s okay, because are you really going to search for the old ones to see if there’s any repeats? I don’t think so, Tim.
Without further ado…
1. I eat cat food and dog food. Okay, I really don’t eat cat food per se (kibble for supper anyone?) but tonight I did try a nip of Jack’s Tiki Cat, canned cat food that looks like real human food. I was having a conversation with my mother about how the cat’s food looked good enough to eat, she didn’t think so, so the next logical step (clearly) was to try it. It tasted tuna-y. I’m quite sure it’s of better quality than the HUMAN tuna they sell at the dollar stores. (And so they should because it’s $1.49.) If I ever have to go the cat food route, I’m going with Tiki Cat. Jack and I will duel to the death for our tuna with lobster consommé. (Once, as a kid, I bit into a dog biscuit, but it was very dry and tasteless. Since dogs will eat poop from cat’s litter boxes, I guess taste isn’t a big seller in dog food products.) Mom didn’t believe I tried the cat’s food, so I breathed in her face. “See? Smells like tuna, doesn’t it?” Oh, Saturday nights in Lunenburg County! At least we’re not cow tipping, I guess, but only because the cattle are in for the winter.
2. I was once touched by a strange man. True story. And it didn’t involve too many tequila shots. The setting: a sketchy burger place in downtown Victoria, British Columbia (as opposed to downtown Victoria, Prince Edward Island). I was sitting at the table with a friend, eating my burger (and trying not to think of salmonella) and this weird middle-aged dude who I wouldn’t trust to squeegee my windshield came and talked to us. Once or twice he touched my arm. My special place. Okay, all of my places are special when strangers are within two feet of me. I gave him the stink eye. Many times. In fact, when I got back to the University of Victoria (where I was taking a summer French Immersion course), I should’ve put deodorant on my eyes, they were still so stinky. Why did I NOT slap this dude upside the face? Because I wasn’t sure if he wasn’t a drug-addled, gun-toting maniac. In hindsight, though, I think he was just two of the three. Also, I’ve never slapped anyone upside the head.
3. I once took a summer French Immersion course at the University of Victoria. Didn’t learn much French though. I mean, I did learn to say Non to Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir. It’s one of my many accomplishments. I also learned how to wash myself in the freezing Pacific and fend off evil raccoons while camping. Best summer ever AND paid for on the government’s dime. Win.
4. I have a special procedure for falling asleep. Lay on my left side for awhile. Switch to right. Flop onto back. Usually by this point, I’m asleep and I have felt the soft jump of my cat by my legs. I love bedskies time. So does Jack. (FYI, this is how I tell my cat it’s time to hit the sack. “Come on Jack, it’s bedskies time!” I’m sure he is humouring me when he responds.) If I stay up too late, Jack heads back the hall, as if by looking in my room, I’ll actually materialize in the bedskies.
5. I used to detest onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, and celery and have recently started eating all of them. Frequently. A fresh button mushroom? Delishskies.
6. I once tried Tai Chi, but it must’ve been too fast-paced or something because I couldn’t learn it and flunked out. (Okay, I quit, but only because I felt like a loser as a twentysomething who couldn’t keep up with grey-haired people.) The mirror confused me because I would watch the instructor in the mirror and then be utterly befuddled when it was time to parrot her. I think I have some kind of kinaesthetic dyslexia. That’s why when someone tells me to hold up my left hand, they usually have to say “Your other left.” Yes, people, I am a university grad. Times three. Sighskies.
7. Something else I usually can’t do: stop pumping gas on the dollar so it’s $35.00 even. It’s invariably $32.45 or $36.89 or something. And of course, my personal favourite, $33.01. Any time I try to double pump, the gas shoots up and onto the ground. I swear it’s not my fault. Now that gas is $1.36 for regular self-serve, the numbers go like greased lightning.
There you have it. Some things you didn’t know about me. Or did. In which case this is a perfect review before the final exam.