My do-over list

You know, sometimes, we just don’t do things we meant to do or wanted to do.  Sometimes things just happen.

Since thinking about my most embarrassing moments, I thought today I would compile a list of the things I would do-over again if I had the chance.

If I could, I would have…

… done more naughty things in high school and college

I think I was far too well-behaved as a teenager.  I wish I had let loose a bit and gotten a tattoo or something.  Did you know I’ve never even been drunk?  True story.  I mean, if you’ve read any of my previous posts, you’d know I hate puke, and drinking usually commences with driving the white porcelain bus.  But still.

… enjoyed being 140 pounds

Back then, I thought I was fat.  Ha!  I would love to be that weight again.  I’m going to have to starve and work out like I’m training for the Ironman to get back there.  Le sigh.  You suck metabolism.

… trained to be a doctor or an hair cutter upper

Going the Bachelor of Arts route hasn’t been incredibly profitable.  I didn’t realize student loans were so evil when I applied for my first one.  I should’ve considered another career route.  Either go big (doctor) or go to community college and start making money before the age of 20.  Now I’m 30 and unemployed.  Smart but unemployed.  Not so smart after all, hmm?

… worked my butt off in the summer starting in Grade 4

Surely that would’ve helped to fund my education even if I had decided to become an Arts grad.

… been more savvy when it came to romance

I was blind visually impaired when it came to love.  I missed out on great opportunities because I had no self-esteem.  Now I’m a spinster.  I have a cat and crazy cat lady hair.  Lesson learned.

… invested in gold

Like holy leapin’ lizards Batman, have you looked at the price of gold lately?  I should’ve invested in that.  Then I could go to university and study Jane Eyre without ever seeing a credit card statement.

… not lived in a craphole apartment even though it was cheap

There’s usually a reason why something is cheap.  Nine times out of 10, it harms your health.  My apartment was no different.  I sucked back all varieties of cigarette smoke (and other smoke, I think) for years thanks to the people down below.  I should’ve gotten a better place to live.  Then I wouldn’t snark like an old man in the morning.

… learned to tell people off with panache

This all goes to the confidence/self-esteem thing.  For years, I was peep quiet, never saying boo.  I wish I had learned to tell people where to go more than once.  Of course, this leads to more regrets, so I have a feeling this one would appear on my list anyway.

… never gotten that perm in Grade 6

I had my long locks hacked off, followed by a spiral perm.  I looked like a poodle for years.  Never (ever!) again will I get a perm, not even a body wave.  It was fugly.  And ironically, once my hair wasn’t weighed down, it had natural curl.  My bad.  It all went well with my caterpillar eyebrows.  Tweezers are a dark-haired girl’s best friend.  Truly.

I’m sure I could list oodles of other boo-boos, but let’s get real: I’m sure you don’t want to read all day.

What are your regrets, big or small?

I tried to Martha Stewartize my old apartment as best as I could. This was my herb garden on my shared balcony.
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