Some of my favourite unusual product names

When designing and naming a product, companies should be cognizant of how their products will be perceived by the marketplace.  And by me.  No, really.  They should call me.  If it passes my sense of humour, I’m sure it will be just fine.  Also, they should hire a panel of junior high kids and see if the name passes the giggles test.

The Orgasmatron

This is seriously one of the coolest inventions ever.  Seriously.  It lives up to its name even though it looks like a weird metal spider.  The Orgasmatron is actually a head massager.  Thing is, it sends chills up and down your spine, especially when someone is using it for you.  Weird name, amazing results.  I want one.

Slap Chop

Does it slap or does it chop?  Make up your mind!  This vegetable chopping apparatus is not my cup of tea.  I tried a similar thing from Starfrit.  Chop fail, that’s for sure.  I expended more energy cleaning it up than I saved slapping and chopping.  Silly Slap Chop.

Beep

The now retired juice, which was the Sunny D of its time, had the cutest little name that had nothing to do with juice.  Beep, beep!   Sounds more like a cartoon.

The Snuggie

I really like The Snuggie for Dogs.  I’m not sure how dogs feel about having sleeves, though.  I would rather just have a bankie.

Bag Balm

I don’t think I need to expound on this name.  Bag Balm.  Nuff said.

Udder Cream

Same for Udder Cream.  It speaks for itself.

Gimp Bracelets

Remember Gimp?  Not exactly the most PC name of the crafting product world.  It makes it seem as though this plastic thread is inferior to the non-gimpy thread.

Horlicks

Okay, this is mostly a United Kingdon product, but it can be found around here.  And I can’t resist the name Horlicks.  The company claims its product can help you sleep better.  I suppose it depends on how you roll.  I think I would have nightmares.

iPad

The iPad.  The iNapkin.  The iTampon.  The iSanitary Product.  The iRag.  I could go on.  But I’m pretty sure my toe is in the gutter with the last one.

ShamWow

Great name, ShamWow.  The first part of it really describes the product though.  It does not work on cars.  I know.  I tried it.  It did not sop up water.  All the water droplets on my car attested to this.  ShamFail.

FURminator

I can’t resist.  The FURminator, a pet grooming tool, begs for me to say it: I’ll be back.

Okay, so this lame blog post has been brought to you by the 11-year-old boy who lives inside my sense of humour.

Keep an eye out, though, when you’re shopping.  You’re bound to run across some of these lovely products.

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