Even if you resolve to make no resolutions for New Year’s, it’s inevitable. It happens.
You make a resolution.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with New Year’s resolutions per se, other than they tend to last for a week or two, then peter out.
Here’s my list of resolutions for this year.
This year, I resolve to…
- use the phrase “peter out” more and giggle like a schoolgirl.
- watch the refined carbs because they usually come in the form of baked goods laden with sugar… with sweet, heavenly sugar.
- start moving more. Not house moving. I hate that. I resolve to do that less. But exercise moving. I resolve to do more of that, even if it means whipping out my Pilates row thingamagig.
- finally paint my room.
- floss every night so I don’t have to hang my head in shame when I go to the dentist’s.
- be more assertive when the situation demands it.
- curse slow drivers less (I’m afraid my constitution will not allow for a total ban on slow driver epithets while behind a car going the speed of a dead turtle.)
- follow world news more so that my dreadful geography is a little less dreadful.
- begin a conversion to using products that do not use animal testing. I’m sorry Dove, but I can’t endure the idea of you might use bunnies to test your shampoo.
- on that note, eat less meat to cut back on the suffering of animals.
- not buy cheap uncomfortable shoes, even if they’re $3 at Wal-Mart and cute as a picture.
- call my friends more and let them know I think of them.
- lecture people when they diss the LGBT community and say things like That’s so gay.
- throw away some of the things I have packratted away in the past 30 years.
- organize everything else that remains so it’s no longer a fire hazard.
I’ll let you know in a week how it’s going.