Gaga, oh lalala
As you may have noticed, I have an affinity for to do lists, being borderline OCD myself (and definitely a Type A personality who enjoys perfection and routine.)
At the heart of every organizational freak is the to do list, whether it’s internalized or written on paper. My to do lists are not as interesting as the memos of the rich and famous, specifically musicians. And Celine Dion.
Here they are.
- Buy chips for poker game.
- Dodge paparazzi.
- Borrow bleach from Gwen Stefani.
- Repair broken disco stick.
- Fix sick beat.
- Send Dear John letter to Fernando.
- Dance. Just dance.
- Dry clean white glove.
- Watch scary thriller.
- Return Free Willy to Blockbuster.
- Powder face.
- Call Liza.
- Do paternity test for Billie Jean.
- [Here I would insert a joke about the accusations levelled against him in regards to little boys; however that would be no challenge whatsoever, so I leave it for you to make one up.]
- Tease hair.
- Let Jesus take the wheel.
- Dig key into the side of a pretty little souped up four wheel drive.
- Carve name into the leather seat.
- Take a Louisville slugger to both headlights.
- Slash a hole in all four tires.
- Remember to buy gas for getaway vehicle.
- Build a mystery.
- Burn Ashwin’s drums.
- Burn yearbook.
- Appear in commercial celebrating British Columbia.
- Dust Junos and Grammies.
- Buy fire extinguisher in case world gets on fire.
- Fumble towards ecstasy.
- Make babies.
- Comb son’s hair.
- Think twice.
- Encourage heart to go on.
- Return to Caesar’s Palace.
- Spritz on perfume.
- Buy Polydent for hubby.
- Kiss girl and like it.
- Fend off conservatives.
- Send I’m sorry flowers to Lily Allen.
- Enjoy guilty pleasures.
- Brand Russell.
- Have a smurfing good time.
- Return mail bearing name Kate Hudson.
- Fix thermostat so no longer hot or cold.
- Let it be.
- Cook special brownies.
- Save the seals.
- Rent Bambi.
- Dust coat of arms.
- Send Christmas card to Danny Williams.