To do lists: literary edition

There’s nothing like a to do list to keep you focused and on task.  Unless you’re blogging for poops and giggles (jeez the PG-13 version of this is lame.)

Here’s a selection of faux-to do lists of authors and characters.  Including them in my list is not a nod to their literary prowess; just that I could think of a list for them.

John Milton

  • Find lost paradise.
  • Curl hair.
  • Prepare for restoration project.
  • Send for 1,000 I’m with Cromwell pins.
  • Find new young bride.
  • Educate people that blank verse is not blank.
  • Pick apples in the garden.

Virginia Woolf

  • Paint a room of one’s own.
  • Find appropriate Abyssinia royal dress for prank.
  • Make a trip to the lighthouse.
  • Dip into the stream of consciousness to cool off.
  • Flounce punctuation! conventions; be sure to exploit every mark! every whim! to make a point.
  • Go looking for rocks.

Danielle Steel

  • Polish jewels.
  • Dive into coins in the money room like Scrooge McDuck.
  • Renew subscription to Today’s Bride.
  • Fall in love with rich older man.
  • Have some tragic drama befall another character.
  • Write another bestseller.

Garfield

  • Eat lasagna.
  • Trip Odie.
  • Make fun of Jon.
  • Have nap.
  • Torture Nermal.
  • Touch up curtains with claws.
  • Read 101 Ways to be Lazy
  • Sabotage trip to vet.
  • Put Jon on LavaLife.

Anne of Green Gables

  • Drool over dress with puffed sleeves.
  • Get off the raspberry cordial.
  • Break slate over Gil’s head.
  • Dye hair green.
  • Avoid the roof.
  • Put Mrs. Lynde in her place.
  • Pledge love to Diana.
  • Play at Cavendish amusement park.
  • Go golfing.

Scarlett O’Hara

  • Escape Atlanta.
  • Pout at Rhett.
  • Make eyes at Ashley.
  • Purge any evidence of the name Pansy.
  • Birth baby.
  • Paint Tara.
  • Remember tomorrow is another day.

John Donne

  • Explain conceit does not mean conceited.
  • Hide rosary.
  • Check self for bubonic plague.
  • Make another child.
  • Compare sex to fleas.
  • Batter fish, not heart.
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