More famous fortune cookies

Ever wonder what fortune cookies would be like if they foretold the fortunes of actual people (not that celebrities are real people… let’s get serious.)

So here are more fortunes of the rich and famous.  Or at least infamous.

Beware of people wearing tattoos, for they mean you ill will. Sandra Bullock.

Flowing fortunes may alter in direction and cause disaster. BP

You may never be master of your club again. Tiger Woods.

Someday you will be princess.  Kate Middleton. (Probably not a surprise.)

You can best be likened to a brick wall. Jaroslav Halak.

Confucius says girl who doesn’t brush teeth every day have close relationship with plaque. Jessica Simpson.

Innocent until proven guilty does not apply to politicians. Helena Guergis.

Your position as king of hockey may be usurped by fresh-faced boy from the land of fish. Wayne Gretzky.

Beware the Ides of March. Julius Caesar. (Hmm, this one sounds familiar.)

Privacy is paramount. Facebook.

You will always have a voice in the discourse of movies. Roger Ebert.

Be careful of where your passions take you. Lawrence Taylor.

Man who brags of conquests may never battle again. John Meyer.

Beware male pattern baldness. Justin Bieber.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s