More famous to do lists

To do lists are a battle plan we all need; but I frequently wonder what other people’s to do lists contain.

Scholars have yet to find the first folio of the play "A Bagge of Dog Poope."

Shakespeare’s To Do Liste

  • Poach game.
  • Arrange for portrait sitting.
  • Practice autograph.
  • Write vindictive retort to Robert Greene.
  • Polish second best bed.
  • Rent Shakespeare in Love.
  • Draft epitaph.
  • Starch collar.
  • Avoid plague.
  • Send bag of dog poop to Oxford crowd.

Apple Computers iMemo

  • Discuss marketing campaign with Kotex.
  • Put Macintosh apple on Sir Issac Newton’s monument.
  • Make peace with Greenpeace.
  • Harass journalist about product leak.
  • Write app on washroom stalls until it becomes the hip word.
  • Send bag of dog poop to Bill Gates.
Ooooooo, I wonder what's inside. Maybe it's something to eat!

Sandra Bullock’s Memos

  • Shore up mantle for awards.
  • Practice acceptance speeches.
  • Book holiday for the lake house.
  • Take a taxi instead of a bus.
  • Steer clear of Mercedes cars driven by stalkers.
  • Buy anti-allergy medications before going horseback riding.
  • Pay speeding ticket.

CEO of Toyota’s Itinerary

  • Buy mouthwash and lip balm.
  • Kiss quality campaign good-bye.
  • Put legal team on speed dial.
  • Send dog poop bag to CTS.
  • Make deal with Canadian Tire for Betty Boop floor mats.
  • Cut “put the pedal to the metal” from future ads.
  • Take Honda Civic for oil change.

Drew Barrymore’s List

  • Drew phone home.
  • Write autobiography 50 Last Dates.
  • Ask Ellen Page to help whip up a batch of cookies.
  • Buy Big Mac for lunch, but come home and make home fries.
  • Apologize to vegetarians.
  • Wash quilt from Spielberg.
  • Mend Guess? jeans.
  • Pawn engagement rings.
  • Go buy more Revlon makeup.

Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Memorandum.

  • Go play on the fair rides in Cavendish.
  • Watch Road to Avonlea.
  • Start keeping journal.
  • Hide anti-war sentiments in romance novels.
  • Plan trip to Japan.
  • Consider changing Anne’s hair from brown to red.
  • Revise Anne of Leaksdale.
  • Spurn proposals from undesirable suitors.
  • Send L.C. Page a bag of dog poop.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Miss Julie says:

    There’s nothing like a good bag of dog poop sent to your worst enemy.

  2. Deacon says:

    HAHA!! i love it!
    did you write these??? they’re really good. i liked the drew barrymore one the best.

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